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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Paul's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, August 26th, 2006
11:36 am
"Abraham Lincoln is not a platypus" she tells me. Whatever.
Sunday, August 6th, 2006
10:04 pm
I'd forgotten how much I love the BOFH
"But the system let me backup the files and didn't warn me not to!"

"The system would also let you send your picture and contact details to a rough trade gay contact mailing list saying you like to be surprised with power tools in a non-consensual role play scenario – but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.!"

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
9:50 pm
I made some comments previously about romantic goodbyes and how airplanes have ruined them. Well romantic goodbyes are alive and well on our nations railroads and I've learned something else about them. They suck. They just fucking suck alright? Fuck saying goodbye, fuck being apart, fuck trying not to look sad while the person you love speeds away from you. Goodbyes are for suckers. You know what's really cool? Saying "I'm home and I'm not going anywhere. From now on being apart will be the exception rather than the rule. I love you and I'm coming home."

Current Mood: lonely
Monday, April 24th, 2006
5:57 pm
Best Care Package Evar
Holy Shit!! There's a pinata in here, what more can I say?

Current Mood: loved
Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
6:40 pm
The consensus, apparently is "Duh". And I couldn't be happier with it.

Current Mood: energetic
Sunday, February 26th, 2006
11:48 am
Imagine that final scene from Casablanca where Rick tells Ilsa she has to get on the plane and she walks away towards the plane and up the stairs with Laszlo and out of his life forever. Now imagine that same scene, only instead Ilsa and Laszlo have to work their way down a turnstile towards some minimum wage earning knuckle dragger who inspects their ID cards. They then strip off everything they're wearing that has metal in it before walking through the metal detector and back through the metal detector and back through the metal detector until finally they make it to the final stage where another rent-a-cop inspects their shoes for possible terrorist footwear tendencies. Then, finally she walks up the stairs and out of his life forever. Unless of course she's been randomly selected for a thorough pat-down and having her luggage checked over by bomb-sniffing dogs. The department of homeland security has really fucked up our romantic exits is what I'm trying to say.

Current Mood: amused
Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
7:31 pm
A deal's a deal
Leave your name and
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
1:46 am

I'm sure most of you who play online games have already seen these people and their highly polished, professional looking website. So any observations I might make about when heavily regulated, centrally controlled, and entirely notional game currency becomes indistinguishable from heavily regulated, centrally controlled, and largely notional real world currency have already occurred to you. But it's a pretty good indicator that it's already happened when you can donate your gil to charity.

Current Mood: amused
Saturday, August 6th, 2005
8:02 am
Aarrrgh!! Vacation Traffic!
I understand that driving can be the most difficult part of any family vacation. Particularly when you're driving a Hindenburg sized RV full of fat screaming children and towing a 20 foot bass boat which is filled with yet more of the useless crap you require in order to enjoy yourself in the "Great Outdoors". To help I have compiled this helpful checklist.

1. Look to your left, if you can see a little dotted line whizzing past then that's great! If the line on your right is solid yellow then you are definitely in the correct lane. Congratulations on keeping America dependant on foreign oil and enjoy your vacation! However, if the line to your left is solid yellow then you need to go to step 2.

2. Look for the little dial right in the middle of the display. If you can't see the dial don't panic. It's possible that you are in the passenger seat, ask the person next to you if they can see the dial. On to step 3!

3. There's going to be all sorts of numbers and letters on the dial, you don't need to pay any attention to them. Just look at the needle, if it's leaning to the right then you're all good as the kids say. However if the needle is standing straight up or leaning to the left then proceed to step 4.

4. Please. Pretty please. For the love of God. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LANE!!

Current Mood: Abused
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
12:55 am
Stability
I feel like I've finally got a handle on whats going on right now. I don't know what happens from here, but I'm optimistic which is a nice change.

Current Mood: mellow
Monday, August 1st, 2005
1:44 am
occasionally life is complicated
I just saw this thing on HBO about showgirls, some of whom were dressed as nazis. We have sexualized the third reich. Also my life is more unpredictable than I would like.

Current Mood: drunk
Saturday, July 30th, 2005
10:47 am
Whew
Things are looking up!

Current Mood: giddy
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
12:33 am
I feel dirty
So apparently "produced by Rob Zombie" is not the badge of cinematic excellence that you might expect.
Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
7:15 am
In about 400 years, when historians look back and talk about the fall of western civilization they're going to write meticulous and thoughtful treatises on the subject. All of which are going to boil down to this. TOO MANY LAWYERS!

From boingboing.net
Court Orders Harry Potter Purchasers to Return Book
A British Columbia court has ordered purchasers of the new Harry Potter book to return it immediately and forbid anyone from discussing any elements contained in the book itself. The latest instalment of Harry Potter apparently goes on sale on Saturday but at least one BC bookseller began selling it in advance. The publisher wasn't particularly pleased and obtained a court order stopping the bookseller (or any bookseller) from selling the book until the official release date.

While that is understandable, the remainder of the court order is a bit harder to take. People have legitimately purchased the book, yet now face violation of a court order if they fail to return it immediately, discuss it, or do anything else with the book. While a court might look skeptically on an attempt to bring an action against a purchaser who fails to return the book, why the court would grant such a broad order that reaches down to the underlying purchasers suggests that this could turn into a real horror story.
Friday, July 1st, 2005
2:58 pm
Cinematic
You know that scene in the movies when a guy walks outside and looks up at the cloudy sky when suddenly theres a crack of thunder and it starts pouring rain. That just happened.
Sunday, June 26th, 2005
7:35 pm
Back and Stuff
Well I've been back in the states for about a week and a half now. I think I'm still getting used to the idea that I can go wherever I want without taking a platoon with me. I keep thinking I'm missing something and then I realize that its my gun and its been locked in the arms room for a week and a half. Everything's much better here but also far more complicated, I haven't had to decide where to eat dinner for a year.
Saturday, May 7th, 2005
12:26 pm
this is optional, but recommended:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

__________________________________________________________


1. If you had to be stuck on an island with someone, who would it be? Johnny Depp, he knows where the rum is hidden.

2. What is the terminal velocity of an average, dead pigeon? Depends on whether it died with its wings outstretched or folded in but between 55 and 25 meters per second.

3. What will you be doing on 06 May 2007? Rough estimates and or guesses are acceptible, but your answer must include at least one place and one person. In class, taking notes like my life depended on it and later that day meeting Phill and Martin downtown for a drink.

4. So, how's the weather? High is 97, low is 68 haven't seen a cloud in weeks.

5. Why does college scare you? Because I'm going to be a 27 year old sophomore, I didn't do particularly well at it the first time and I'm going to be out of practice.
Thursday, May 5th, 2005
8:40 am
For Phill
Meme

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. Paul
2. Sheridan
3. Ghost 6 Romeo

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Zer0Count
2. Shez296
3. Name on Prodigy that I don't remember (that's right, I'm old skool biatches)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Eyes
2. Hair
3. Shoulders

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Height (lack thereof)
2. Teeth
3. Farmers tan

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. Welsh
3. English

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Turning 30
2. College
3. Car bombs

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Food
2. Caffeine
3. Internet

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Desert camo pants
2. Brown tshirt
3. A badly worn Timex watch

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. Led Zeppelin
2. Creedence Clearwater Revival
3. NIN


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Closer - NIN
2. Son of a Preacher Man - Janis Joplin
3. Sweet Emotion - Aerosmith

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Trust
2. Spontaniety
3. Sex

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I'm a pessimist
2. I think I'm doing the right thing
3. I'm preoccupied with what might have been

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. slender hands
2. short hair
3. asses

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. video games
2. Reading
3. writing very small programs

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Drive my car
2. Drink a beer
3. Relax

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Computer programmer
2. Network administrator
3. Spy

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Michigan
2. Tokyo
3. Australia

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Alexander
2. Sarah
3. Joseph

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Speak a foreign language
2. Live on every continent (possibly not antarctica)
3. Love and be loved

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. Stinky
2. think about sex constantly
3. joined the army

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. spend forever in the bathroom in morning
2. don't like to make the first move
3. I'm short

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Natalie Portman
2. Alyssa Milano
3. Jessica Alba

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Etherhead
2. notadreamdate
3. s4dg1rl
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
8:40 pm
Suck
5 weeks to go and all of a sudden the bad guys decide they want to come out and play again. A couple of days ago we avoided a car bomb by sheer luck, there was a tank a half mile ahead of us on the road and he decided to hit them instead. Thankfully tanks are pretty hard to destroy, the guys inside were fine and they only had to paint over the scorch marks when they got back to base. At this point I honestly don't give a shit about Iraq, Iraqis, freedom, democracy or the army. We've come too far, I just want everyone to make it home.
Friday, April 22nd, 2005
2:31 am
Traffic Signals
Ok, this has been bothering me for a few days. They have traffic lights over here but they've all been broken since before the invasion apparently. Everyone just tries to push through the intersections all at once and generally massive traffic jams result at the intersections that don't have cops standing on them directing traffic. So here's the thing, if all the traffic signals magically started working again tomorrow it wouldn't make any difference because people are used to just pushing their way through intersections and getting stuck in traffic, it's familiar to them. If someone did stop for a red light everyone else would just go around him, so it's not in his best interest to obey the law. So how do you go from a system where everybody ignores the rules to one where people obey them not out of fear of retribution but because that's just the way things are done? Presumably this happened in the US at some point in the 20th century but I can't for the life of me figure out how you do it without putting a cop on every street corner.
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